Friday, May 9, 2014

The Silver Lining

You know the old saying, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." That's pretty much the reason I've stayed off this blog for the entire month of April.  I know that kids go through phases, but it kind of feels like these 2 have purposely joined forces at the exact same time and decided to see just what will it take to make their mother lock herself in the closet and never come out again.

For this post, I had originally typed up a long, bitter rant about all of the things that have gone wrong and/or driven me up the wall over the last month or so.  At some point in there, I even gave a thorough description of what hell must be like (and I'm pretty confident that it may have been somewhat accurate)... but even so, I decided for the first time in my 4 1/2 year blogging history, that I needed to sit on it.  I kept telling myself "Just wait until tomorrow and see if you still want to publish this."  And so I did... for 3 days.

In that short time period, I experienced a very poignant, very humbling realization that life is just too short to focus on the stuff that doesn't matter.  Will it continue to drive me insane that my 4 1/2 year old won't stop pooping in his pants?  Of course.  Will it become easier for me not to turn into the incredible Hulk every time my 2 year old hits me in the face?  Not a chance.

But when I look back over the course of this entire month-- what really matters, what will go down in the history books (or at least my history book) is not how many pairs of ninja turtle underwear I cleaned up/ threw away, not how many hours Brendan spent in time out (and believe me, it may very well have taken up the better part of half the entire month).

It's brothers walking along the beach together, hand in hand

It's a trip to the ice cream shop for no good reason

It's conquering your fears

It's the magical look on a kid's face when he knows he is sitting on top of the world

It's gasping with excitement, even when he has already shown you 37 other shells just like this one

It's that feeling of being in complete control

It's accepting that sometimes things will be completely out of control

It's that sense of accomplishment that can only come from finding the world's biggest sand crab

It's allowing yourself to do something fun even though you know it's gonna get messy

It's taking a joy ride every now and again

It's the realization that, as much as you want to, you just can't stay mad at this kid

And it's knowing with 100% certainty that no matter how many times you want to throw yourself out the window, you wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.