Monday, July 7, 2014

No, I'm not a soccer mom... (but my kids do play soccer)

If you had asked me 10 years ago, I never would have dreamed that this day would come.  In fact, I would have bet my life that it wouldn't.  But the first kid came along, and along with that tiny little 7 pound bundle of love came strollers and backpack carriers and giant car seats and diaper bags the size of a week's worth of luggage... then, the second kid multiplied that cargo... and now a third will triple it.  You probably know where I'm going with this.  Yep, last weekend, we decided it was time:


Needless to say, there are a lot of emotional hurdles to conquer on the day you trade in your sporty mid-size SUV for the keys to a minivan.

  • First of all, you need to accept that any shred of coolness you had left in you is now gone forever.  I imagine that I lost that last shred a few years back, but at least I didn't have to announce it to the whole world.
  • Second, you have to tell yourself that you are different from the other soccer moms in this world, because you are still a regular person-- you just needed a little bit more space (like the other moms didn't get a van for that exact same reason) .
  • Third, you have to mentally prepare your talking points of the many cool new technological features that minivans come with these days for when your friends without kids start making fun of you.  

Obviously, I am going to do that right here and now... because honestly, this van is SO AWESOME!!! (I'm actually not joking... at all)

We walked into the Chevy dealership on 4th of July with full intentions of getting a Traverse (it's like the car I had but with a third back row).  But when we found out that the particular model we wanted had sold the day before, we both agreed that we should at least look at the Honda Odyssey at the dealership next door.  And when we did, it was no competition.  I don't care what anyone says-- the Odyssey is the nicest car I have ever been inside of (Note: I have never been inside of a really nice/ expensive car before.  Other note: Yes, we did feel really guilty for being so un-American by purchasing a Japanese car on our great nation's birthday.)

Aside from the fact that there are approximately 14 cup holders, a "cool box" to keep drinks cold, and a "conversation mirror" (AKA "make sure your kids aren't killing each other" mirror)... aside from all the hands free everything, blind spot cameras for turning, and aside from the fact that the arm rests adjust to different levels for short people (my personal favorite)... let's be real here:  the back of this van could host a better shindig than my current living room.  Even when we put the third back seat in, this thing is like a party bus!


So, yes, maybe I've hit 30 and lost every shred of my dignity with it-- but I'm completely willing to take that fall in exchange for the sanity that this new set of wheels has brought me.   It's truly the little things that make me happy these days, and this could truly be my biggest thrill of 2014 (oh right, aside from the baby that is on his way).  Maybe I'm a little more excited than a normal person should be about riding through town in a glorified school bus; but hey, come talk to me when you are shoving grocery bags on your kids' laps because your double stroller takes up the entire trunk of your cool, sporty looking mini SUV.  It will be me who gets the last laugh then ;)

Long live the minivan (and the soccer mom)!

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