My faith has been shaken a lot in the past week. I think about the massive tragedy that occurred this morning, which has affected so many all over the country-- leaving people feeling vulnerable in the most unsuspecting of places .. and then I think about the deaths and sickness and loss that are on a much smaller scale, but equally as tragic... And I just feel so helpless and heartbroken.
I was devastated to hear about the loss of a young woman from my high school, who passed away in childbirth earlier this week, leaving behind her husband, toddler son and 2 newborn twin girls. The magnitude of this loss is inconceivable to me and to think of what her family is going through makes me physically hurt.
The dynamic of all the different people affected by this is too difficult to wrap my head around-- the boy who is just old enough to understand that his mom his gone, but not able to understand why; the innocent girls who may one day feel responsible for what happened, and the husband who is picking up the pieces, trying to figure out how he will raise 3 babies on his own, while grieving over his lost love.
It's too much to ask someone to get through, and yet they are going to have to do it. They have no other choice.
All the while, this type of loss is constantly happening to someone, somewhere, at some time in this world.
I don't think I've ever taken what I have for granted; I am eternally grateful for my family and my heart bursts with love for them. But I don't understand why some are luckier than others, and I'm afraid it doesn't really matter. It almost seems like I'd somehow be cheating if I got through this life without something horrible happening to one of us.
It sometimes seems like the odds are stacked against us, as the human race. You're just not going to get off that easy or it wouldn't be life. So how do you forge ahead, knowing the potential pain and darkness that awaits?
With every tragedy, of course, comes growth and love and support in massive quantities. And I do believe that good always comes from it. But life is still forever changed in many instances, and it doesn't seem right that, even in 10 or 15 years, the mother who lost her son in a terrible accident will never be able to wake up and make herself a cup of coffee without thinking about her loss.
I am amazed by people's strength and courage and ability to take on the unbelievable challenges that life throws at them, and just so inspired by the incredible ways that friends and loved ones come to the forefront to help weather the storm. I guess this is what life is all about.
My thoughts and prayers are with a lot of people today and always.