Well, this is it. Game time. 4 days to go until my due date and I'm completely in the zone.
I'm trying to visualize every detail and hoping that my undeterred focus will help Brendan to get his little cute butt moving. I don't want a repeat of what happened with Niall.
For those of you who don't know, I planned a natural, drug-free birth for Niall, but was forced to be induced when he was 6 days past due. I lasted 24 hours with cytotec-induced contractions but soon found out that I had only made it to 1 cm. That's when it was time to crank the epidural and the pitocin. 20 more hours later and I had almost made it to 2cm. What a sick joke, I remember thinking. It was c-section time... and let the waterfall of tears begin.
It all turned out ok, but I was not about to let that happen this time around. I took a hypnobirthing class to help with relaxation, meditation, breathing and visualization. I really feel ready this time, even though I did take a similar class (Bradley method) last time. I think part of me saw the whole birth thing as so completely surreal, that I never really believed I could do it. I knew all the methods, all the steps, all the facts, but the confidence was lacking.
I'm still not quite 100% cool, calm and collected this time, but I have really come a long way. Of course, there is some nervousness about the risks of VBAC, but those same risks are involved with major surgery. So it's a double edged sword, really.
I've worked hard to talk to Brendan every day over the last month, telling him what was going to happen, where to position himself, etc. And I've been telling myself every night before bed what I need to do to achieve a successful natural birth. I can't wait for him to come and I've decided that tomorrow is going to be the big day, so please send your prayers and good vibes my way.
So far, my attempts to visualize have been wildly successful! I was checked at my last midwife appointment and found out that I"m 50% effaced and 1 cm dilated-- exactly what I had pictured in my mind that whole week.
Anyway, I have the whole day tomorrow planned out in my head and I'm hoping that my continued determination will manifest itself physically. A lot is riding on the success of this birth. I want to have 4 or 5 kids, so I can't just keep having c-sections. This natural birth has to happen because after 2 c-sections, natural birth becomes more risky.
I know I can do this. My fortune cookie told me so:
How much more encouraging can it get?! This baby is coming out and it's not going to be through a gash in my stomach this time! Wish me luck :)
Niall loves your votes!