Thursday, March 24, 2011

Moms Who Make Me Mad

You would think my biggest concern taking Niall on public outings would be handling a wild temper tantrum; that I would spend more time doing damage control than enjoying the actual activity, itself.

But no, that's never really stopped us from doing anything fun. What I dread most on the car ride to story time at Border's or the kid's museum is interacting with the other moms. I know that sounds horrible, but you just never know what you're gonna get.

I never in a million years would have thought that I would have more trouble interacting socially than my kid, but here I am, stuck in a rut.  There are a lot of times when I meet great people, have great conversations and the kids get along just peachy.

But then there are the times when I want to ask some of these moms:

It's really been bothering me lately, to the point where I'm working hard to make changes in myself; learning to be assertive, but not emotional or passive aggressive.  I'm just not the type to say something to someone else's kid;  I don't think it's my place.

So what do you do when you are watching a 5 year old take every train out of the little toddlers' hands who are standing around him trying to play?  I'm sitting there, waiting for the mom to come over and tell him he needs to share, but she never comes.  I don't even know where or who she was.

Or worse, I witnessed a mom who stood by and did nothing as her 3 year old son got a running start and pushed someone else's 1 year old on a push toy as hard as he possibly could into the wall, causing the little guy to get whiplash (and not to mention scared him out of his mind). 

I understand that parents get sidetracked and don't watch their kids all the time.  And I also understand that there is a certain amount of independence you need to give your little ones, so they can learn to hash things out themselves.

It's just so hard to find the boundaries, especially when toddlers are at such a crucial stage of learning what's right and wrong.  Having to explain to your kid why he has to share but the other kid doesn't; why he can't push, even though he just got shoved down onto the floor.

So I know I need to just get comfortable with the idea of saying things like "Hey, do you think you guys could take turns?" or "Oh, gentle-- he's a lot smaller than you."  It's going to be a long process of coming into this character that I've never experimented with before, but I know lies deep within me.

Being a mom forces you to do that; to become a better person, a more confident person so that you will be the best role model you can for this little person whose life you have such a huge part in shaping.

Things are going to make us uncomfortable, angry, and sad all the time.  It's how we deal with these situations that makes us who we are.  Which is why I would currently classify myself as "ticking time bomb," but I'm working on it-- slowly, but surely :)

...And never to end on a bad note (since this post was such a downer), a pic from St. Paddy's day that didn't make it on the blog last week:

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  1. I totally understand! I would always just give someone what they wanted rather than have conflict, and I caught myself doing that for John. I realized I would have to buck up and stand up for him instead of trying make him invisible too! And I know there are lots of attentive moms out there, but we often seem to run into the ones who aren't paying a bit of attention to their little bullies as well!

  2. Ugh, I totally dread getting into situations like that. I know that I would sit there half fuming at the other parents and half wondering if I was just being an overprotect freak (since obviously that's the only reason the other moms could be ignoring such crappy behavior, right?!)

    I think I'll stay a hermit and let daycare socialize my child #mommyfail

  3. This is hard for me as well. It's hard for me to watch a 5 year old knock my son over at the Mall play scape because he isn't watching where he is going, and his mother seeing he isn't behaving just sits there and watches him.

    Ahh..I guess it's something we all need to work on. I just wish everyone paid attention to their children's behavior.

  4. Well, I for one, would kiss that adorable little face! I like to tell the parents of my grandchildren, anybody can have a baby, but it takes guts to parent one. Having children forces most of us to grow up's a learning process all round. :)

  5. Wow. :/ Some parents are ridiculous.

  6. i freaking hear ya. we go to story time & i've seen lots of crap like this. Including a 3yo slap my friend's newborn's face and then just say, "oh no honey, baby, no... we don't do that... no no no." like it was no big deal. my friend was PISSED. they lady didn't even apologize. ugh.

  7. oh, i totally understand. parents NEED to take responsibility for their children ESPECIALLY when it is effecting younger kids and babies. no excuses moms, no excuses. reign. in. your. kids.

  8. I am totally with you!!! This happened to us this week but not with trains, with toy food. We were at the library and two older kids and their mom get there. Avery has a couple of the kitchen toys, 2 pieces of food, a plate, a cup, and a pot. The other kids proceed to take ALL the toys of the kitchen and then come over and start taking hers too. The mom doesn't say a word!!! I sat there for a minute thinking she would eventually say something but when she didn't I finally did. I tried to be nice just telling them that she didn't have to much and it would be great if she could please keep what she had. But I hated doing it and was in shock that their mom was going to let me. So rude!


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