I'll admit, I do my fair share of "woe is me"-ing. I often think the universe is somehow against me because of all these silly little things that go wrong. Out of all of the billions of people on this earth, the forces out there have chosen to specifically mess with me- all the time. And I say "forces" because I don't want to blame God and put myself in the doghouse with him :)
I've also noticed that this attitude tends to cause a snowballing effect. If you keep feeding into your negative thoughts, negative things will continue to happen to you. Even though I know this, it's really hard to put it into practice.
I'm sure we've all occasionally gone through that "I'm so sick of everything in my house falling apart!" phase. Well, I've been wanting to rip our storm door off the wall lately for various reasons. The first being the catch that is supposed to hold it propped open keeps jamming and getting stuck in that position. Second, it literally grabbed my sleeve as I was walking out the door last week and ripped a hole in my brand new shirt. I was pretty T.O'd, to say the least.
So you can imagine how peeved I was when the same thing happened this week with a different, but equally cute shirt. I was fuming. 2 good shirts (which I don't have a lot of to begin with) in the trash because of my ghetto storm door sabotaging me.
It happened at about 1pm, as Niall and I were running out on an errand. In my fury, I decided to really let it all out, since everyone in the neighborhood was surely at work at that time. I swear, I don't normally curse in front of Niall, but I just had to let it all out. ALL of it. Almost any swear you could think of. Completely talking to myself, completely crazy. I'm not proud :(
And as I approached my car, I saw my next door neighbor standing next to his car with his 8 month old in a kind of "let's try not to make eye contact with the crazy lady" manner. I was pretty mortified, so I also pretended not to notice him. It's not like I could have waved and said "Hey Tim! How are you? How's the baby? Hey, by the way, any time you need help, just drop him off at my house- I'm really great with kids!!"
I hope he doesn't judge me too harshly for this, because I really wanted our little guys to be friends. They're so close in age and we live right next door to each other- it would have been perfect. I'm thinking I may have scared them away permanently, though. We'll see.
So that's my lunatic mommy confession of the week. There's plenty more where that came from. If anyone wants to make me feel better, feel free to tell me about your crazy lunatic story :)
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